Meet EIM Contributor, Rylea Farrens!

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Hi, I’m Rylea, and I’m excited to be writing for East Idaho Moms. A little about myself:

I am a mom of three children – which somehow is the only defining thing I could think of to write… I mean, I could say I’m 5’8”, with brown hair and blue eyes, and a medium build…. But I’m not writing a dating profile, so I guess “mom of three” is a good way to say what you need to know.

I currently work for the City of Iona planning their City Events and a myriad of other things. I have a bachelor’s degree in Child Development which is a fancy way of saying I have a ton of Mom Guilt™, but luckily it also came with a ton of tips for how to raise kids without pulling your hair out that I’m happy to share.

I grew up all over the place, but mainly in Iowa, and Reno and Las Vegas, Nevada. I
have always been a people person (you kind of have to be to survive when you
move 10+ times). I specifically have a lot of love for people who are struggling. I grew up in a home riddled with mental illness and worked for many years with children with
Autism. I empathize with those of you who are just barely hanging on, I’ve been there many times in my life. My family is an extremely difficult thing to navigate, so I feel like I have a lot to offer to people who feel alone in the world. If you don’t have family around, I am more than happy to be your tribe. Just know that I’m kind of a lot sometimes. I will definitely drop by your house unannounced to do your laundry with you and bring you a soda. If you tell me to stop though I totally will, we respect boundaries in this house.

I’m married to an amazing man who deals with my crazy. He has a Master’s degree in Social Work and practices full-time as a Mental Health Councilor. I’m pretty sure he realized after he married me that he was going to need some extra tools to deal with all my baggage so that’s why he went that route for his career. I’m joking (mostly), but I digress. He is an amazing and quietly hilarious human, but you’d never know it unless you get to know him. Until then, you might just think he’s introverted, and you wouldn’t be wrong.

Some of my passions and hobbies are theater, watercolor painting, photography, singing, embroidery, gardening, baking, cooking, eating, writing, playing the piano, learning, reading, exercising, petting dogs, playing with kids, sewing, making goals and planning, budgeting…. I could keep going.

The thing is, I’m not amazing at any of those things but love them. I say if you like doing something, DO IT! I planted a garden for 5 years before I grew anything that I could harvest, but now I have a bountiful enough harvest each year. The universe cursed me with a black thumb, but sometimes I say screw the universe, I do what I want… hence the lengthy list of stuff I like to do sometimes.

I don’t know how to talk about myself anymore so meet my kids:

My oldest is a blonde spitfire who feels so much and is so pretty it sometimes scares me. I have never had much luck understanding pretty people and she is not the exception. She has loved her dad since she popped out, and it definitely gave me big feelings of abandonment for a while ( I mean, after all, I carried you for nine months, you’d think that would mean something). She’s super coordinated, so creative, and stubborn. This girl is going to do big things, so I’m just along for the ride.

My middle child is a classic middle child, and I would know. I’m a middle
child. He is energy, and big love, and humor all day all the time. He is a momma’s boy. He’s about to get to the age where it’s no longer cool to love your mom and my heart breaks just thinking about it. He is also ridiculously smart. He loves sticks, and ninjas, and non-fiction books. I am pretty sure he’s going to have lots of shenanigans when he grows up.

My youngest is going to kill me. But first, she’s going to kill herself by falling off of something. She thinks she’s big. But she’s not even two! I know I need to foster independence and I’ll thank myself later and blah, blah, blah, but I’ve considered putting ankle weights on her a time or two just so I could keep up. I thought it through enough to realize that would backfire and I’d just have a really buff-legged toddler. She’s crazy cute though. But I mean, I’m tired, man. If she’d just sleep through the night, I think I could have enough energy to chase her around all day, keeping her out of harm’s way.

All three of my kids have these giant blue eyes that make them look like they’re in awe of the world. Honestly, I’m in awe of the fact that I’ve been a mom for so long. After not being able to keep a garden alive for most of that, you’d think I’d have screwed them up by now. I might have, I’m sure my trauma leaks into my reactions a little too much sometimes when I’m exhausted. BUT I also know that children are exceptionally resilient and loving, and as long as I continue to grow and apologize when I do wrong (and I do wrong a lot) they won’t have too much trauma to have to unpack when they get to be my age. At
least their dad’s a therapist and he can refer them to someone good.

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