Big Families Are the WORST


Before you decide to have another baby, you need to hear what I have to say. I am the oldest of nine and I absolutely hated it growing up. If you worry about the strain it will put on your kids and your life, please read this and then make your decision.

I am going to tell you exactly what big families are like. 

It is chaos. It’s loud and messy constantly. Everyone that comes over will be overwhelmed with the noise a large family can create. Jokes, fights, singing, laughter, and screams are echoing all around you. I had more than one friend that was completely shocked by my family and how crazy it was. I was so embarrassed growing up that I rarely invited friends over. It was exhausting. It kept me on my toes. And it prepared me for anything life could throw my way. 

Your oldest will grow up faster than most kids. I changed so many diapers. I made dinner. I bossed my siblings around. I was much more mature than other girls and I hated it growing up. I wanted to be like the other teen girls that all the boys thought were hot but instead, I was the “mom”. Being the mom growing up made becoming a mother a much easier transition. I knew exactly how to take care of a baby and maneuver this new life. 

Big families are expensive. You will probably not be able to afford fancy trips or fancy clothes. You won’t be able to give all of your kids the latest of anything. Your kids will have to get creative. They will have to become thrifty. They will learn how to find the best deal and make what they have work. 

You have to make so much food. Cooking for a big family means you need buckets of food. I can’t seem to grocery shop for my small family now because buying in bulk is all I know. I can easily make enough noodles for twenty-four people. Now that I have a cute little family of four, we have spaghetti coming out of our ears. It’s ridiculous but I am always prepared for guests. 

You are never ever alone. This was so hard for me as a moody teenager. I always had a little buddy tagging along no matter where I went. When I would go to the grocery store, people would say my “kids were so cute”, which was fantastic for my self-esteem. When I wanted to escape, I couldn’t even hide in my room because siblings were constantly knocking on my door. Depression dogged me right along with my siblings but they were always there to remind me that I mattered. 

Large families are hard. They are messy, crazy, and so much fun. I may have hated it as a kid but now I am so grateful for the lessons it taught me.  

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Kayla Maddox
Kayla is an East Idaho Native that loves it so much she dragged her Montana born husband back here to raise their two kids. Kayla is passionate about fitness and beauty. As a cosmetologist and pre/postnatal fitness trainer she loves helping moms feel as beautiful as they are. She loves to hear everyone’s parenting stories and thinks parenthood is one of the best/hardest adventures we choose to go on.


  1. Second oldest of nine here (but oldest girl, so all your points of growth apply to me and my older brother equally).

    Thank you for your spin from your title. I’ll admit, I was worried at first glance. All your points about why you ‘hated’ being in a big family are accurate, but because they weren’t focused on, I didn’t consider them negatives. We were too busy working and playing together. Not to mention there was always enough people to fill up a board game or play outdoor games. Basically, even the siblings I’d squabble with regularly also became some of my best friends.

    I’d love to hear how life with your grown up siblings is now.

    For me, we feel like we’re having a party every time even a few of us get together. If we can fit in at least one board game, all the better (we’re usually playing late into the night after our kids have gone to bed). And each of us has at least 8 people, plus our parents, who would drop anything and come help if ever we have a need.

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