This is just a season
Whether it’s a tough phase of life or a beautiful one, there will be a time in the near future when things are different. There are good times and trying times to come—both of which will give you experience.
You can’t be everything
You might be a good cook, a skilled artist, or a fitness junkie. Perhaps you are an effective communicator or a patient tantrum-diffuser. There are moms who are naturally nurturing and others who can balance their kids’ busy schedules effortlessly. But no mother can do it all, at least not at the same time. The truth is, you have been blessed with certain gifts and you can work to develop others with time. Choose a few things you want to focus on and work to be ok with letting the others go.
Your kids don’t think you’re failing
Your kids have loved you since they met you; you are their mother. They don’t know all the intricacies of motherhood, they just know that they are safe with you. That’s enough for them.
There are other moms who can relate to you
You have some struggles that are unique to you; however, you don’t have to look too far to find another mom who has experienced burnout, overwhelm, anxiety, loneliness, or worry. Chances are, another mom somewhere has walked a similar path to you.
You can enjoy your hobbies without making them side hustles
“Boss babe” culture would have you believe that your talents aren’t worthwhile if you aren’t profiting from them. In my own personal experience, I have found more satisfaction in my hobbies since I started doing them simply because I love them.
You don’t need to buy that thing that all the influencers are raving about
It might make your life better and easier or…it might not. There are people who make a living off of marketing different products to you. Business owners want you to believe that you will not be happy or successful without buying their product. That doesn’t mean that you can’t purchase things that you want but keep this in mind: marketing is designed to make you feel like you are lacking something.
It’s not selfish to want alone time
It’s no question that you love your kids—and part of you probably wants time away from them. If you need someone’s permission to rid yourself of guilt for feeling that way, take it from me.
Half-effort is better than no effort
If you have an inner perfectionist, this reminder might make you squirm. However, your “ideal” might be preventing you from starting in the first place. Just start and finish that task. It doesn’t have to fit your ideal to be good. “B+ work is still good work.” – Angie Hunter, Syrup 4 the Soul Life Coaching
Your thoughts aren’t always true
Sometimes, your brain lies to you. The way you perceive your body might not be how everyone else views your body. Maybe you are needlessly anxious about the future. During those times when you feel upset about something, it might help to ask yourself, “What if this isn’t true?”
Your mental health matters
Read that again. You don’t get an award for doing everything on your own. Your family needs you to take care of yourself. What does that look like for you?
Screen time can be helpful for you to get something done
I’m no child psychologist but I need a few minutes every day to put on my makeup, load the dishwasher, or take a few deep breaths without an active toddler demanding something from me. Turning on a show for a little while might be essential for you to get through your day. Try it out if you want to!
Sometimes simple is better
I can’t speak for those of you who have older children but for those moms with kids that are age four or younger, I’m willing to bet that they will have just as much fun with dollar store chalk as they will at Disneyland.
Guilt and shame will not help you meet your goals but giving yourself grace will.
Have you tried being kind to yourself? Try it. It could help you meet your goals faster than punishing yourself will.