I want you to take a moment and think about the last day or two and truthfully admit how many times you scrolled through social media and had negative thoughts about what you are doing, accomplishing or not accomplishing. How many times did you compare yourself to someone else?
STOP IT! PUT YOUR BLINDERS ON!
Blinders help you stay focused on what you want to achieve or do, whether that is homeschooling, homemaking, working, playing, relaxing, or resting. As Moms, we put an unbelievable amount of pressure on ourselves; society doesn’t help. We expect perfection of ourselves, we expect to accomplish so much every day, and when that doesn’t happen, we are brutal to ourselves. We are overly critical and overly harsh to ourselves. Yet, if a friend tells us they didn’t accomplish the same things and is being critical toward themselves, we tell them to stop and we compliment them on all they are accomplishing.
Do the same for yourself, please.
When you put your blinders on, you realize what is truly essential and what is low on the list. I know some of us want to do it all, but if you are trying to do it all, not everything will get your best effort. Maybe homeschooling is not going to be your big breakthrough, so look for a program to follow, join a group that shares the resources, or even trade days with other homeschool moms.
As our children grow, the focus changes and priorities evolve with that. You may find yourself at a point that having a focus other than your children 24/7 would be a boost for your soul.
As a mom, do you realize that you are a vital and valuable asset to the home, to the family, to yourself, and to your community? Do you treat yourself like a valuable asset? Have you even thought of yourself as a valuable asset? You provide a service to your family that no one else can. You know your family dynamic like no one else; you know the schedule and the routines. Yes, some days those things don’t quite run the way you wanted and that is okay. On other days you achieve more than you had planned to. It balances out.
I am at the empty nest stage and work full time. Some days at work I literally have to put headphones on to drown out what is going on around me and get stuff done. I don’t get caught up in conversations that get me off my plan, so blinders go on and I work. The same thing happens at home. Sometimes I set a timer and focus on one sole project. That timer is my blinder to everything else going on, like a sink with dishes or a load of laundry that needs to come out of the dryer. I focus better with blinders.
The outside world doesn’t get my attention until I decide it does.
I just read a Facebook post about someone with health issues having trouble getting through the day. The therapist asked what was really bothering the person and she responded that it was the dishes. The dishwasher doesn’t do a good job and the thought of scrubbing and getting them semi-clean to go in the dishwasher was too much for her to accomplish. The therapist said to run the dishwasher twice. She started to argue and said you’re not supposed to, and he stopped her and said, why the heck aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes, run the dishwasher twice. Heck, run it three times. Who cares?
This stopped me: why do we set such rules and/or standards for ourselves? Who cares how it gets done? Somedays you won’t get it done, and who said you have to? Do what you can and stop letting social media dictate how or why you do things in certain ways. Put the blinders on and focus on you and your family.