Don’t Comment on My Body

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I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant, but I don’t look like I’m that far along.  Both of my pregnancies have been pretty similar. I start by losing around 15 pounds, gain it back plus maybe 10 more pounds.

People love to comment and say “Oh wow, you’re so small! Lucky you!” And I’m honestly so tired of people making those comments. 

My instant reaction is always to say that it comes at a cost. It’s the cost of throwing up nearly every day for close to 20 weeks. On top of throwing up, my appetite is nearly nonexistent with nausea all day long. Add on the fatigue I’ve felt this pregnancy that is unreal and two bouts of kidney stones and I can safely say I really don’t enjoy being pregnant.

Believe me, I would much rather have a big, cute pregnant belly! You should see how excited I get when I am finally showing! I want to buy maternity clothes and look pregnant to any random stranger. I would take that over the nausea and puking! I wish I had cravings and could eat a full meal without feeling sick in the middle of it. But, my body just handles it differently and looks different than many other women’s. 

These comments have made me think about those women who are naturally very thin. They often can’t do anything about it and feel bad when people make comments to them about their weight. They may try to eat more to gain weight, but it just doesn’t work. We envy them when they could be feeling the same way about us and our body shape. 

So, could we just stop commenting on other women’s bodies? That goes for pregnancy, postpartum, and everywhere in between. We never know what she is struggling with. Her pregnancy could be extremely hard and making comments about how big or small she is doesn’t help.

Let’s change the language we use by saying things like “How are you feeling?” “Congratulations! How is your pregnancy going?” “I’m so excited for you!” Another one that always works is “You’ve got that pregnancy glow and you look beautiful!”

And if she does look miserable, offer to take her older kids for a few hours or offer a delicious snack if she’s up for it. When in doubt, a nonjudgmental listening ear is really all she needs.